


in the bar

by kerrykins



Category: Big Little Lies (TV)
Genre: 02x04, Canon Rewrite, F/F, fiction&femslashevent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 01:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20201578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kerrykins/pseuds/kerrykins





	in the bar

The bar was surprisingly busy at this hour. Then again, it was Saturday night, so maybe Jane probably shouldn’t be so surprised. Like all establishments in Monterey, it had an fashionable easiness to it that slowed Jane’s senses and made them heavy like honey. It was all swinging lights and brick walls and black chalkboards and soft voices.

Celeste and Jane sat at the bar, only two drinks or so in. Jane had been too absorbed in their conversations to keep count. They talked for hours about where they were taking their kids for treat-o-treating, the new park being built, a small sinkhole that made getting to school difficult-- safe topics they clung to stubbornly, unwilling to acknowledge that their lives weren’t perfect, that neither of them slept well at night. That was what their friendship was constituted of; lies that held them together like cheap glue, fragile and temporary.

“I had a really weird thing happen earlier when I was dancing with Corey.” Jane didn’t know why she was telling Celeste this but she couldn’t bring herself to stop. The older woman’s brow puckered in concern, her expression gently curious.

“Um... everything was going fine, it was great. And then he moved his hand and... my mind froze and my body recoiled and kinda had this spasm. It’s really frustrating because I’m doing so well, and then something like that happens—”

“Mm.”

“—and it’s like, am I ever going to be sexual again? Can you relate to that? Did he ever...” Jane trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence. “Did Perry ever rape you?”

Something flickered behind Celeste’s eyes but before she could say anything, the bartender interrupted.

“How we doing? Another round?” He smiled affably at the two of them as he cleared their empty glasses. Jane shot a glance at him, tattoos shooting up the rippled muscles of his arms.

“No, we’re good. Thank you, actually.” Celeste only spared him the smallest of nods before turning her attention back to Jane, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. “It’ll happen.” Her hand only lingered a moment before pulling away, as if hesistant to let go.

“So he didn’t?”

“No.” Celeste shook her head. “No, he didn’t.” Rather than darting her eyes away, she met Jane’s gaze steadily. 

She was lying. 

  
  


Jane wanted to tell her that she didn’t need to lie to her— but that would be crossing a invisible line between them, opening the floodgates to a discussion neither of them were ready to have. Like why Jane was asking this question to begin with, why Celeste couldn’t keep her eyes off her whenever they were together, why they were so restrained with one another. Because that would be giving power to whatever this unspoken, dangerous thing between them was.

Jane should go. She had to visit Bonnie at the hospital and then head home to dismiss the babysitter. Mary Louise was her new neighbour and would start poking around her life if she ever found out that Jane left Ziggy for this long.

“Oh, hell. I’ll have another one,” the other woman was saying with a soft laugh, shaking her head at the bartender. He winked before pulling one of the whiskey bottles down from the shelves, eying Celeste with a mix of fascination and amusement. Celeste tossed her red hair over a shoulder, her smile subtly sly.

Jane froze. “I think I’ll have one too, if you don’t mind.” She let her bag from from her lap and onto the floor. Ziggy was probably already asleep and even if he was, it wasn’t a school night. Rachel had been understanding about staying overnight in the past.

“It looked like you were about to go,” Celeste said, raising an eyebrow. Then her expression softened. “I’m glad you’ve decided to stay, though.”

Jane warmed at that, every one of her worries settling like sand in water. “Yeah, me too.”


End file.
